11.08.2006
To which Greg, somewhat appeased, replied. . .(Letter #4)
They are pretty obnoxious. You think Flatirons is bad, I saw it from Surrey Ridge coming into South Denver on Saturday night. I was blown away.
I appreciate you and the town working towards a solution. That’s all I am looking for.
Thank you Mr. Mayor. I appreciate your attention in this matter.
Greg
To which the mayor replied. . .(Letter #3)
I am sorry that you have felt that we are not responding appropriately. We have been told that the FCC is the body that should be contacted. I know staff is working on other angles to this problem. I too am bothered by it and observed the towers at Flatirons Mall on Friday night. I agree this is unacceptable and is a community issue as does the staff.
We will continue to look at how I and the town can respond and get help with this. I thank you for your interest and I will be in touch with you once I know more.
Eric E. Doering
Mayor, Frederick, Colorado
Letter #2 to the Mayor of our Town (Oct. 30th)
"The bright white strobe-like lights on the southern radio tower (located to the east of Frederick) have been the cause of many citizen complaints in Frederick and the surrounding areas. Town officials have contacted the Weld County Planning Department and several area communications companies regarding the problem, and all complaints should be directed to Clear Channel Communications, which owns the tower. The Town of Frederick is not responsible for the towers and has no control over their operation."
Which apparently, Greg didn't like. Thus this letter, to our mayor:
Subject: Flashing South Tower East of Town / Concerned Citizen of Savannah Subdivision - Please Help Us -
Hello Mayor Doering,
I am writing you today with great concern regarding the flashing towers east of town. I myself, being a resident of the Savannah Subdivision, east of CR15 and North of Hwy52, am fully impacted by these lights. Not only is this a huge intrusive nuisance to my home, homes of my neighbors, and my ability to sleep, It is now becoming a safety issue in our neighborhood as Halloween approaches, as you lose all nighttime vision when driving eastbound through the subdivision. I fear that if these lights are not detuned quickly, that a child will be struck, as this is a neighborhood full of children.
The note on the website that the town of Frederick is shrugging off the responsibility of these towers to the FCC is completely inappropriate, since our town and its citizens are DIRECTLY and NEGATIVELY impacted by these towers. Regardless of where the towers lie in regard to town limits, the town should be concerned with the well-being, and safety of all of its citizens. Please get involved with this issue, and use any and all influence that the town has in order to get this remedied quickly. There are many residents in Savannah that are counting on you.
I appreciate your time. Thank you
Greg
Letter #1 to ClearChannel Communications (Oct. 30th)
Good morning,
I am writing today to complain about the new lighting configuration that began Sunday, Oct 22, 2006. The south tower at this site, Clear Channel Communications, has been changed, and is now EXTREMELY bright day and night. This tower has become more than a nuisance, and is now a safety hazard. It is now difficult to drive eastbound on many different EB routes, including Colorado Highway 52, Main Street, Frederick, Colorado (5th Street), and many smaller residential roads. The tower lights are so bright that you lose visibility as your eyes cannot adequately adjust for nighttime driving. Safety for children in the area as well as wildlife and pedestrians is now a concern, especially with the onset of the holidays (Halloween). These lights need to be returned to their previous brightness ASAP before somebody gets hit.
For the neighborhoods that surround these towers, life has also become difficult. Sleeping with bright lights flashing all night is extremely difficult. It is painful to be outside in the evenings, as the brightness of these flashing white lights is extreme and dramatic. Please take action as soon as you can to remedy this situation, and have this tower repaired.
Please feel free to contact me regarding this issue. It is of the utmost importance to me, since I am directly impacted in a negative manner regarding this tower.
Greg
Explanation of Tower letters to be posted...
It's hard to exaggerate how bright this made our neighborhood. Visualize lightning striking in the black of night every second or so and I suppose that's the closest picture I can paint you. It was aggravating, and though it bothered me. . .it nearly drove my husband insane.
What follows is the series of letters written from Greg to various officials as he tries desperately to get this fixed. . . and get some sleep. Because they are comical on their own, I'll post them, one at a time with little to no introduction.
Enjoy!
9.24.2006
The Wobble of Death

Over a couple weeks in August, my brothers were able to come out and visit. One from North Carolina, one from Minnesota. The 4 (including my husband) of us are pretty close, and whenever the guys can come out - it's always a good time.
We went shopping at the mall one day. . . and about 2 hours before this photo was taken, Jeff (the one on the left) bought a longboard. It's something his friends are into. Basically a long, surfboard-shaped board that is similiar to a skateboard, but apparently different. And since Jeff enjoys tooling around on these things, he bought one on our shopping trip, along with a helmet.
About 1 hour before this photo was taken. . . Jeff didn't have that massive bandage on his arm.
We went from the mall to our parents house for dinner - around 50 minutes away. Jeff spent much of that time telling us all sorts of interesting facts about this style of boarding, along with things to watch out for. One of these things was 'The Wobble of Death' which he described as when the speed of the board gets to be so great that it starts to wobble first a little, and then with increasing frequency until the rider literally gets 'bucked off' his board.
So as we neared my parents house, we stopped at the the top of the sloping hilly road that they live on. . . and (as he was eager to try his new board out) let Jeff out to ride down on his own. We would follow behind just to make sure he was OK and to fend off any cars that may try to pass him, and we'd meet him at the house about a quarter mile down the hill.
So off Jeff went - new helmet, new board. His long locks waving in the wind. 5mph. . . 10mph. . . 15mph. . . 20mph! I was starting to get nervous at the speed; when John, Greg and I all noticed a bit of a . . . .Wobble.
Uh Oh.
Just as Jeff had - apparently prophetically - described; this slight wobble increased in momentum until it did, indeed look as if Jeff was riding some sort of crazed horse. His arms went out attempting to keep his balance, and then. . .like it was in slow motion. . . we watched him fly off the board, take two drunken high-speed steps (please remember his body was still going 20mph even if his legs weren't) and then fall and barrell roll down the street as his longboard shot off into the forest. Greg slammed on the brakes, we all ran out of the car to where Jeff was lying bloodied with torn jeans, shirt, and a scratched helmet. We were horrified.
Jeff had temporarily lost the ability to breathe and had also lost quite a bit of skin on the pavement. But though he was bloody and bruised, it didn't warrant a hospital visit, and so we gently helped him up and into the back of the car so he could catch his breath for a minute before we headed down the hill to scare my mother to death.
Jeff sat there gasping for air, and groaning in misery - and as he did my other brother John patted him reassuringly on the shoulder. "Yeah Jeff," he said contemplatively; "we see what you mean about that Wobble of Death."
9.14.2006
Hello we're back . . .and we're taking calls. . . .
So. What story to regale you with since last we read? What tale of hilarity; vacation, work, or marriage-related should I tell this day? Let's start with vacation. Which Greg and I took the last week of August.
Off we scampered to a sacred site where my family and I have been camping for the last 22 years. It's in Colorado, and it's amazingly beautiful. A nice rustic campsite by a river, plenty of wood for fires, and due to the stark lack of any sort of civilization . . .very free of those pesky class A, B, C or whatever motorhomes that are the size of small Soviet countries, crowded with all sorts of prissy folk.
Greg and I were able to borrow his parent's pop-up camper which isn't even close to the same thing. (So stop thinking that)
My parents joined us 3 days into it, and as they just sold the 1974 Vaquero camping trailer that we've had since I was 6. . . .they were tent camping it for the first time in many, many moons. Which was interesting because they brought a huge blow-up bed, an outdoor kitchen, a small outhouse-shaped tent that was for showers, carpet for the inside of their 3 bedroom tent, as well as their 2 dogs and cat, Simba.
Yes, I typed that correctly - there was carpet . . .and (entirely unrelated). . .their cat.
It was like when they showed up - so did bits and pieces of a house.
But, we had a great time. We had all kinds of crazy food which we ate with gusto, and for those of you who know Greg, also know that this relates very closely to his version of heaven.
Until the 5th night. I vaguely remember through a sleepy haze that I heard rustling through the cabinets. Perhaps the faint hint of paper rustling, and the pitter-patter of tiny paws.
I didn't think much of it until the next morning when I found that a mouse had taken a wee bite out of nearly every kind of food we had brought. Greg went ballistic. It is a very deep form of violation for him to have his food ruined by any sort of creature, let alone a tiny mouse who didn't even bother to finish his first feast before starting on another.
We went back and forth on solutions to the matter - during the day the mouse was gone, and Greg wanted to capitalize on that to move all perishable food into the truck, lamenting all the while at our massive oversight in not stocking the camper with mousetraps. There was no convincing him otherwise, and as he was doing that I was trying to think of a way to solve this issue so I could have a functioning kitchen back. Then, Simba (the cat) showed up from his foraging in the forest, and he gave me an idea. . . .
I let Greg empty out the trailer (with the spirit of a man who knows that all his Skippy Peanut Butter Bars will be gone forever if he doesn't act NOW) and when it was done I carefully sprinkled some Lucky Charms near what I believed to be the mouse entrance was. We opened all the cupboards, and waited for night to fall.
When it was dark, we took Simba, and stuck him in the trailer while Greg, my parents and I all sat around the campfire making s'mores. In truth, I thought it would take until the middle of the night or something before a first kill could be made, and we occasionally looked in to see how the cat was doing.
He was perched, oh-so-quietly on top of the seat cushion, looking down into the baited cabinet. Ears pricked, head cocked, and very, very, still. He knew what was up and was taking his job very seriously.
In the middle of a s'mores conversation, there was a big THUMP, and a brief rustling, and then silence. The fire ring was silent as we looked at each other in disbelief, and I finally said what we all were thinking:
"Do you really think he's caught one already?"
There was only one way to find out. We all trudged over to the camper, and upon opening the door, there was Simba waiting for us, sitting in the entryway with a dead mouse clamped firmly between his jaws.
We disposed of the poor creature, and then sent Simba back in to kill any other 'poor creatures' who may be trying to eat our food.
I did feel bad, but that was the only mouse apparently, because Simba caught no other ones that night despite my bait.
Perhaps those lucky charms aren't so 'Magically Delicious'.
At least for field mice.