An Internet Forward to Share....

For whatever reason, this made me laugh, and I had to post it.


Jesus and Satan were having an on-going argument about who was better on the computer.
They had been going at it for days, and God was tired of hearing all the bickering.
Finally fed up, God said, "That's it! I've had enough. I am going to set up a test that will run for two hours; and from those results, I will judge who does the better job."

So Satan and Jesus sat down at the keyboards and typed away.

They typed letters.

They e-mailed.

They e-mailed with attachments.

They downloaded.

They did spreadsheets.

They wrote reports.

They created labels and cards.

They created charts and graphs using PowerPoint.

They used Excel for accounting work.

They did every job known to man.

Jesus worked with heavenly efficiency, and Satan was faster than hell.

Then, ten minutes before their time was up, lightning suddenly flashed across the sky, thunder rolled, rain poured, and, of course, the power went off.

Satan stared at his blank screen and screamed every curse word known in the underworld.

Jesus just sighed.

Finally the electricity came back on, and each of them restarted their computers.

Satan started searching frantically, screaming: "It's gone! It's all GONE! I lost everything when the power went out!"

Meanwhile, Jesus quietly started printing out all of his files from the past two hours of work.
Satan observed this and became irate.

"Wait!" he screamed. "That's not fair! He cheated! How come he has all his work and I don't have any?"

God just shrugged and said, "Jesus saves."

The baptism

Recently, Greg and I attended the baptism of our neighbor's 5-month old baby girl, Anya. It was a Catholic ceremony, and, having been to a few Catholic baptisms...I wasn't expecting much.

And I'll preface that with the ceremonies I've been to haven't had much meaning, sort of the "ho-hum another baptism" approach from the priests and the parents. And, at one, I asked about the meaning (I wanted to hear from the parents what it meant to them) and they couldn't tell me. Not one bit about if this 'saved' the child or not, if she was consecrated to God now that this was done, why they did it, and whatnot.

I really enjoy the traditions of the Catholic and Episcopalian churches...but I get disappointed when the congregations don't know or care as to what's going on.

So I wasn't expecting much for this baptism either.

And then the priest came out and began talking - and I could tell he really, really loved what he was doing. And in his prayers, I could hear a genuine love for God. And then he took little Anya and began with "Anya, today we, your family and friends stand together and claim you for Christ, and all that is Good and True in this world".

We claim you for Christ....

And he talked of how dark the world has become, and yet how we have these tiny rays of light, these people who can grow into light itself, and here we were claiming Anya's little life for Light and Love at 5 months old. He then had each of us swear something like an oath that we, her neighbors and family would stand in the way of Darkness and shelter this small child from any evil or harm that may come her way. That it was our duty as those closest to her and her parents to protect them from things that would harm or drive wedges into their relationships with each other because the family must remain strong.

He admonished us not to ourselves fall into dispair, for though our path through this world is difficult, the Light we follow is more powerful than any darkness that would claim our joy.

We claim you for Christ....

When we were done, it was through a veil of tears that we left that little church. I thought about tiny Anya, and what our small prayers may have done for her life this day. I can't really begin to guess, but I also think that we underestimate what our prayers and goodwill can do.

The Stingy Cookie Monster

The other day, Greg had a rough go of it at work….he crashed our company’s main external website and then cheerfully, and obliviously I might add, left to go play volleyball. He came back to absolute pandemonium and much reprimanding. When you are a US Government defense contractor….it really is quite unacceptable to have the main website offline.

So. It was a bad day.

As he flopped on the couch and lamented the fact that he would soon be an unemployed couch potato, I made him chocolate peanut butter chip cookies to cheer him. And they did, very much. He loved that recipe – the cookies were exquisite. So I packed some in his lunch the next day for after the meetings with upper management.

But he ended up going out and he never came up to grab his lunch from me, and thusly it wasn’t until the end of our work day did he remember his cookies. (Side note: We work in the same building. Not the same department, but the same building. I’m upstairs, and he’s downstairs locked away behind strict security access) He asked me to please remember to bring them down for him so he could munch on the way home (His meetings went fine – the managers were understanding and Greg is still employed).

We got to the car and 2 of our friends were also leaving, I asked Greg if he wanted to share his cookies with them, since there were plenty at home. He heard something to the point of ‘Do you want your cookies now in the car?’ and I heard an enthusiastic YES!

So I offered his cookies to our friends and gave Greg a funny look when his eyes POPPED as one of the two cookies were accepted. We smiled and said bye and hopped in the car.

And he didn’t move.

So I inquired as to what was up.

And this was his response:“What in the HOLY HELL inspired you to give away one of my cookies?!?!?!”

And I said “You TOLD me to!!!”
And he said “In 4 years of marriage what of my behavior has EVER made you think I would be willing to share cookies with ANYONE!?!?!”

And I didn’t have a snappy comment for that. So I hollered “YOU are a STINGY COOKIE MONSTER!!!!!!”

So he grumbled the whole way home incoherently about ‘Cookie Rations’ and whatnot, and promptly ate a few more just to comfort him when we got home.

And I went upstairs and laughed and laughed and laughed.

And then wrote this blog so you could laugh too.

Signs and Wonders

I’ve been working at applying to colleges to find a suitable place to obtain my Masters degree. One of the draws of working at my current position is the fact that my company will help fund such an endeavor, and so – I thought I’d give myself a $10,000 raise and go find a degree program I want.

So originally I was going to get a dual master: An MBA and a Masters of Science in Emergency Management. And I was going to get it from a school that had both a traditional and online program….so off I went down that road. But, before I started classes, my company changed the accreditation policy for what schools they accepted, and my school didn’t fall into that….plus I was rethinking another 3.5 years of school – so I went for another school here in Denver. Very prestigious, I began the application process….Greg graduated from there and the total cost of his degree was around $28,000. So imagine my surprise when I calculated my tuition at $75,500!!!!! Even with my company’s help – I would have to fund this endeavor with my whole salary for the next 2 years. Thus, I promptly dropped THAT program.

And now, I’m currently applying to yet another school – this time in Colorado Springs. The exact same accreditation – and at $25,000 for two years, it seems a much better bargain. But, again, I have to send transcripts, essays, letters of recommendation, application fees, applications, and on and on….

So I told Greg (jokingly) that I thought all this was a sign from God that I wasn’t supposed to go get my Masters and that perhaps I should forget about the whole idea and continue on with my happy little life. He disagreed and said no, God was clearly testing me, and my perseverance. We laughed…and then I had to think out loud on this whole idea. How are you supposed to know what is a test, and what is a stop sign? How many people – when left to their interpretation, interpret it incorrectly and drop out or push on needlessly?

Better yet, is there a wrong choice?

One can only speculate at this point – but it doesn’t really apply to me anyways. I’ll be hard-hearted, or full of perseverance (whichever you prefer) and busy getting my application in.

Open Wide!

I went to the dentist yesterday for an evaluation. To see what braces could do for me, what kinds of braces there were and, more importantly, how much these braces may cost. . .

I'm getting braces next month.

However, this was after 3 hours of evaluations, impressions (with the goopy ceramic stuff that they say should taste like fruit punch but doesn't), discussions, calculations, and bargaining.

And after all this, I've concluded that orthodontists should NEVER eat onions for lunch. No matter how tantalizing the sandwich.

Of Beauty

She Walks in Beauty

She walks in beauty, like the night
Of cloudless climes and starry skies;
And all that 's best of dark and bright
Meet in her aspect and her eyes:
Thus mellow'd to that tender light

Which heaven to gaudy day denies.
One shade the more, one ray the less,
Had half impair'd the nameless grace
Which waves in every raven tress,
Or softly lightens o'er her face;
Where thoughts serenely sweet express
How pure, how dear their dwelling-place.


And on that cheek, and o'er that brow,
So soft, so calm, yet eloquent,
The smiles that win, the tints that glow,

But tell of days in goodness spent,
A mind at peace with all below,
A heart whose love is innocent!

~Lord Byron

This week, my grandmother is ending her battle with kidney failure and old age in general and is getting ready to head home beyond this world where my grandfather and her Savior has been waiting for her.

And its time. She is tired, her body has given out, and she is at peace with going. And yet, I look at her and her life and her sweet personality and the memories we've had with her through the years and I'm saddened. Not hopeless, but saddened.

Because when we lose bright stars like her, the world becomes just a bit more gray.

Of Dancing

This past Friday, Greg and I started taking ballroom dancing lessons. It only took 5ish years to convince him (even our wedding wasn't much of a motivating factor) but proves the saying "If at first you don't succeed; try, try again".

We signed up. And so inspired 2 of our neighbors that they and their spouses signed up too. And off we went to our first night.

When we arrived, we had to wait outside as the last class finished up Salsa lessons. As they all filed out, one guy was near to staggering, and he took a deep, shaky breath and admonished our group: "Prepare yourselves, it's brutal in there". I could feel fear start to creep into the hearts of our men. But, we as women were undaunted, and we led them to the dance floor to commence with our training.

We started off with the two step, and aside from the fact that I was using my hand-hold on Greg's right arm to attempt steering him around the dance floor, that went really well. . . until the dance instructor saw what I was doing and quickly admonished me and then made the whole class do an exercise in posture and resistance in you ballroom 'stance'. Chagrined, I made more of an effort to follow, and not lead, but by then we were learning the tango and I could barely keep up, let alone boss the situation around. Greg had a rather difficult move that involved him turning around me, while I stepped in between his legs, and then we both do another turn, and end up going back the same way we were coming from.

It looks amazing, but is difficult. And when both of you as dance partners are rather tall, you tend to make up a lot of ground practicing this move.

And so we started lapping people left and right - careening down the dance floor one way, my cheeks flapping in the wind as Greg whipped me around and I felt the awesome power of G-forces, and then it was back down the other way with much the same speed and length of stride. I could see the fear on our friends faces as we bore down on them, and as they anticipated our approach they would lose focus on their own steps and stomp on a few toes. Before you knew it we were back down the other side of the floor, terrorizing complete strangers, most of whom would not stand their ground and choose instead to scatter in front of us like frightened chickens.

It was awe-inspiring to feel the power our tango had on the group and not even the dance instructors could put us on the right track - we were a Force Unstoppable by mere man.

We were a giggling Force Unstoppable by man.

And afterwards the 6 of us went out and had some beers and dinner, and recounted the harrowing tales of trying to dance together as couples, and the strange parallels it bore to an actual relationship. Who was willing to lead, who was willing to follow, who could hold their posture with resistance, who was a limp noodle....and I think it's a good thing we're all taking this class together. Perhaps all young couples should be required to work together in this manner.

Either way, we're all looking forward to this coming Friday, when we get to learn 4 more sequence of steps, and hopefully, are a bit better (and maybe slower) than we were last week.